Kagura Vs Kimura: Battle Royale
by Hwikek
Summary: In order to save the Earth Kagura must beat the life out of a dangerous warrior race known as the Creepers.


The day had finally arrived. The day the Creepers would destroy the Earth.

Unfortunately for them one person stood in their way. Unfortunately for us the person who stood in their way was a seventeen year old girl. Today was bound to be interesting.

Kagura looked up at the sky. Fluffy and surprisingly grey clouds floated in the air. A pretty blue sky covered Tokyo, I say pretty blue since they probably have smog issues. She headed down the street towards the supermarket.

Doctor Wasanasong sat at a bench, suddenly the road exploded! Seven really creepy figures stood in the middle of the intersection (it might also be a roundabout). Dr. Wasanasong decided that now was a good time to leave.

One of the aliens looked around. Strange headgear that was clearly stolen from Dragonball Z covered his eyes. His mouth gaped. His hunched shoulders made him seem shorter than he really was. The other six alien beings were quite similar.

"Finally," one of the aliens calmly stated, "We have reached another planet. Only this time we won't _just_ behave like perverts, we will also destroy this planet!"

"Yes," another alien said, "though these creatures look really similar to us."

"You, yeah you! Aliens!" One of the aliens began to yell at a small crowd that had assembled to look at the weird aliens. He ranted on and on about world domination. The superiority of the self called Creeper race. How one of their recon members had finally signaled that it was a good time to invade. How the aliens were going to take over, and if we wanted to live we should just surrender.

A small brown cat tried to walk across the road the Creepers were standing on.

"Defiance?" asked one of the Creepers, "pay for your insolence, with your life!" A strange bolt of energy flew out of the Creeper's hand. The brown cat turned into a small black pile of ash. Maya had gone on to sleep with Jesus. At this point the crowd decided to run away 'cause these guys were scary as shit!

"Look at the cowards run," one of the Creepers said. He shot an energy bolt at a couple of them, frying them like Maya. "How fragile they are." The alien was disappointed. This wasn't an exciting battle, it was just a simple slaughterfest.

"Hey you!" The aliens turned towards the sound. The seven of them laughed at what they saw. A young female with brown hair was yelling at them. She seemed to be angry with what they were doing.

"Who does she think she is?" one of the Creepers asked.

"Hey!" the tallest Creeper yelled. "Shut up!"

"F— you!"

"What did you say?" the tall alien was pretty pissed with her. "Danus!" the alien yelled at another Creeper, "Kill her now!"

The Creeper named Danus vanished, reappearing behind the young female. He held her arms back in what can best be described as "the lifeguard hold". His arms were like iron, firm and unyielding.

"Oh no!" the girl yelled. "My arms are tied up there's nothing I can do…except crush your balls with my foot!" The young girl smashed her foot into the creature's testis. As Danus recoiled in pain the young girl elbowed him in the face. Danus fell down.

"Pathetic," the young girl said, "you can't even take on a chick!"

"I like this one," one of the Creepers said.

"Yes Drophsophilia she will make an excellent ornament for the mantel."

Danus looked at the young girl through his eyepiece. _How could she knock me down?_ _Her power level is only at one hundred…mine is over 1000!_

"You still alive? Let's try to fix that."

The young girl proceeded to kick the alien's face as fast as she could.

"Incredible," one of the Creepers said, "her power level rises with every hit she lands…."

"After only twelve kicks her power level has tripled in size." The Creepers smiled to themselves…well not smiled since their mouths were wide open.

"Damn it!" the young girl yelled, "why won't you die!"

"Ha!" Danus laughed, "Your power level is too low to hurt me!"

"You know why I'm beating the crap out of your face? You remind me of a creeper at school!" the young Japanese girl yelled.

"That's exactly what I am!" Danus yelled, "The only reason I'm laying here is because I can look under your skirt!"

"GOD DAMN IT JUST DIE!" the young girl screamed at the top of her lungs.

"I've stood just about as much of this as I can handle!" one of the Creepers yelled. Rising into the air he shot an energy blast at the girl. She looked up just in time to see the beam rush towards her.

Another explosion filled the air. A large mushroom cloud filled the sky. The annoying girl had been destroyed.

"HEY!"

The Creeper turned towards the direction of the noise.

"How, how are you still alive?"

"All this bullshit just makes me strong muthah f—ah!"

"Tell me your name!" the Creeper roared.

"Fine!" the girl yelled, "my name is Kagura!"

"That name sounds stupid!"

"It's cooler than Danus!"

"Wait a minute…. Where is Danus?"

"Oh yeah. Your energy attack incinerated him."

"What?" the Creeper yelled. "Then Kagura…you will die!"

"Shit," one of the other Creepers said. "Plexippus killed Danus!"

"Damn…you're right Suzuki," one of the other Creepers said.

Kagura was sparring with the Creeper. Though the alien was fast, Kagura managed to block all of his blows with ease.

"How can this be?" the Creeper asked. "My power level is at over one thousand! Yours is only at 700!"

"Shut up with that annoying power level talk already!" Kagura smashed her fist into the monster's face, breaking his weird glasses.

"You'll pay for that!" the Creeper yelled. "Feel the wrath of The Thousand Dragons That Fall From The Sky ATTACK!"

"Feel the wrath of my Thousand Breakups ATTACK!" Kagura's fist glowed with energy. She managed to pass her fist clean through the enemy's abdomen. His body was propelled into the sky…where it promptly exploded.

"We can't take her on by ourselves!" the five remaining Creepers yelled. "We need to call Kimura!"

"Hey, bitches!" Kagura yelled. "What are you so scared of? I thought humans were so fragile?" Kagura was pretty pissed since her skirt had been ripped by the Creeper she had just killed.

"Kimura save us!" the remaining Creepers yelled.

"I don't think so!" yelled Kagura. Jumping high into the air she charged up a powerful energy attack. Suddenly she was knocked to the ground. Her attack dissipated harmlessly into a gas main.

"Oww…." Kagura moaned. "What was that?"

"That was me," said Kimura. "You and your friends always thought I was physically weak. But you were dead wrong. Now I'm going to prove it! Come my Creeper brethren…um Creeper brethren where are you?"

It turned out that the gas main that had been hit by the energy attack had caused the entire street to explode. For two whole city blocks a giant concrete canal was visible beneath what had previously been asphalt. The other five Creepers had been consumed by the powerful explosion.

Kimura was unfazed.

"I didn't need their help anyways," he said. "I'm the most powerful Creeper on this miserable planet!"

"PLEASE!" screamed Kagura, "DON'T KILL ME!"

"It's a little too late for that," Kimura responded.

"Couldn't I just surrender?"

"Sure," Kimura said.

It was at that moment that Kagura struck. Sure it was a cheap shot, but hey, if she had lost the world would have been destroyed. As soon as Kagura had been knocked out of the sky she had focused all of her power into a single point. When Kimura had relaxed she placed the tip of her finger on his forehead. The energy she unleashed turned his body to ash.

At the end of the battle cars were piled up. Buildings were on fire. Windows were smashed. Yet the traffic lights were just fine. Kagura decided to go home, after going to Mickey Ds for a milkshake. She managed to get one for free since she saved the Earth. Little did she know, this only happened in one of Osaka's dreams.

"Wow," Osaka said as she woke up, "I have _got_ to stop watching Dragonball Z…. OH COOL! IT'S ON RIGHT NOW!"


End file.
